Sharing experience: 35 Buddhas retreat

The first two days into the “Confession to 35 Buddhas” practice were experimental. As with all things i do. I have difficulty connecting with the practice, and the Chinese and Tibetan chants. I was also dismayed that i didn’t really feel repentant.

So instead of visualising and reciting the 35 names, i tried prostrating according to my own motivation. First day, I chanted “Namo Guru beh, Namo Buddha ya, Namo Dharma ya, Namo Sangha ya” with each prostration. Second day, I chanted the 4 lines of repentance “往昔所造诸恶业.  皆由无始贪嗔痴. 从身语意之所生. 一切我今皆忏悔.” 

I survived the 2 days, trying my best to keep up with the motivation in the face of thorough body aches and arising doubts and boredom. Khen Rinpoche said we should visualise many other beings pervading the universe who are also prostrating with us, & ourselves in past-present lifetimes multiplied. And this was a very tough task for me.

The major shift happened on the third day. Rinpoche gave a brief talk which I can’t recall the contents now. But I started to think of a new way to motivate myself to prostrate, and it proves to be useful — This is how I contemplate:

Before each session, I visualise the 35 Buddhas in front of me in the space. I thought of their compassion wanting to help us, but the way they can do that is when we open our hearts, repent, and rely on them for relief. There must be some connection in our minds.

Then with each prostration, I imagine I am prostrating with each realm of beings, the suffering we cause to ourselves due to the defilements of the mind, characteristic of each realm:

—- Hell Beings: Anger, hatred, ill will

—- Hungry Ghosts :  Greed, Insatiable Hunger, Covetousness

—- Animals:  Ignorance

—- Humans:  Confusion, Doubt, Skepticism [wrong view]

—- Asuras:  pride, arrogance, competitiveness

—- Heavenly gods:  attachment to sensual pleasure -> laziness -> forget Dharma and practice

 

 Each prostration is recited with an antidote to the defilements:

 —- Hell Beings: We promise to have love and compassion for one another

—- Hungry Ghosts :  We promise to practise generosity and selfless giving

—- Animals:  We promise to practise mindfulness and conscious awakening

—- Humans:  We promise to cultivate right view, right thinking, right faith of the Path

—- Asuras:  We promise to see all beings as very very kind to us, just like our mothers; without them, we cannot achieve anything

—- Heavenly gods:  We promise to see all things as impermanent, non-self and illusory. They do not bring us lasting happiness.

 

 So, this is what i recite with each prostration:

 ” I and all beings of the Asura realm are here to repent. 35 Buddhas, please purify our body speech and mind of  pride and arrogance. We promise to see all beings as very very kind to us, just like our mothers; without them, we cannot achieve anything.”

 

So in this way, each prostration makes me feel complete – with visualisation and understanding of what i am repenting for, request for purification, and commitment for remedial action (antidotes).

  

Other information for reference

Commonly known 6 poisons: ignorance, anger, attachment, greed, jealousy and pride
Explanation @  http://www.kagyu.org/kagyulineage/buddhism/int/int04.php

Commonly known 5 Hindrances:
sensual desire, ill-will, sloth and torpor, restlessness and remorse, and sceptical doubt
Explanation @   http://www.accesstoinsight.org/lib/authors/nyanaponika/wheel026.html

For actual instructions/practice of ‘Confession to 35 buddhas’, please refer here. – page 118